The Walking Dead - Genius at Play

A good few months back I posted about my complete disappointment in George A. Romero's 'of the Dead'. A view I still hold, my god it was shit. Since then we've had nothing to shout home about in Zombieland (see what I did there?). A new Resident Evil in the form of the utterly rubbish Resident Evil Afterlife, which, even by the standards set by the previous three films, is by far the worst of the bunch and several straight to DVD dead-walking band wagon wannabes, none whose names I wish to sully this thread with. There have been some high points in the post-apocalypse genre however, most notably the excellent 'The Road' and equally good 'Book of Eli'. But nothing of note that fully qualifies as a proper Zombie film. Until now that is...

It's taken a 7 year old comic book, the producer of Aliens and The Terminator and the director of The Shawshank Redemption to jolt the Zombies back to life with what looks to be the best Horror shows since Dead Set. It is, or course, AMC's The Walking Dead.

Based on Robert Kirkman's stunning graphic novels the story chronicles the travels of a group of people trying to survive in a world stricken by a zombie apocalypse. Slow paced and dialogue heavy this is not your standard gore-fest of a horror novel and nor is it's TV translation.

The pre-air pilot released this week on-line is nothing short of genius. Every second of its 70 minute run-time is a delight. I shall go into more detail of the show as more episodes arrive, but as of now, with high praise for its pilot, it looks like an early commission that extends past its originally green-lit six parts is a sure thing. Isn't it?


WATCH IT!

Charlie Brooker for PM

If being full to the brim with common sense and wit were an olympic event then Mr. Charlie Brooker would be the Steve Redgrave of the 'sport'. His columns for the Guardian are legendary for their dry, veracious wit and uncompromising honesty about his subject matter.

Here is a great example of why Charlie Brooker is my favourite 'bitch slapper' in the media today. Sorry Dr. Kermode, you come a close second.


Charlie Brookers Screen Burn | The World Cup


I wish I enjoyed the World Cup, if only for some fleeting sense of common unity with the rest of humankind. But I simply don't get it. A huge number of my fellow citizens tune in and witness a glorious contest of ecstatic highs and heartbreaking lows. I see 22 millionaires ruining a lawn.

If the fans want to enjoy their sport, fair enough. Judging by their rapt faces, I'm the one losing out. What puts me off isn't the game itself, but the accompanying patriotism; or, more specifically, the hollow simulation of patriotism used to hawk products throughout the contest.

Take the current Carlsberg campaign featuring an insanely jingoistic dressing room "pep talk" which blathers on and mindlessly on about national pride. "Know this," the voiceover whispers portentously, "that shirt you're wearing? Your countrymen would give anything to put it on." Really, Carlsberg? I wouldn't put down a sandwich to lift the World Cup, let alone pull a sweat-sodden sports jersey over my head. And would even the most committed fans really do "anything" to wear it? Would they saw their own feet off with a bread knife dipped in cat piss? No. They wouldn't. So stop lying.

Having grossly overestimated the cachet of said hallowed shirt, the ad treats us to a cameo from virtually every notable English sporting hero of the past 50 years, pausing briefly for a patronising moment of silence for Sir Bobby Robson, before depicting an ethereal Bobby Moore, bathed in heavenly light at the top of the tunnel, standing proudly beside a lion. The whole thing plays like a masturbatory dream sequence for Al Murray's Pub Landlord character, the punchline being that the whole thing is a sales pitch for a Danish brewing company. The tagline should be: "Carlsberg: as English as Æbleskiver".

The American confectionery company Mars is also keen to pat our patriotic behinds. It's paid John Barnes to jokily recreate his notoriously poor rap from the 1990 New Order single World In Motion. And – ha, ha! – it's hopeless. But if you're not familiar with the original, it just looks as though we, the English, have absymal taste in music. Tourists watching this advert in their hotel rooms will spread tales of our cultural ineptitude on their return home. Thanks for that, Mars. Incidentally, Barnes's lyric has been altered, so he's now rapping about "three lions on a Mars", which rather implies that the sacred England shirt that Carling was getting religiously excited about is, in practice, interchangeable with a calorific chocolate-and-nougat slab.

Japanese technology giant Sony is also capitalising on the World Cup. It's got an advert starring Brazilian star Kaka which aims to convince viewers to trade in their old TV sets for shiny new 3D ones. It's an exciting prospect, only slightly undermined by the fact that the World Cup is being transmitted in the UK by the BBC and ITV, neither of whom will be broadcasting any of the matches in 3D. In fact, if you want to watch the World Cup in three dimensions, you'll have to go to the cinema, where Sony plans to show it, in 3D, on around 50 screens. That'll mean leaving your brand-new 3D telly at home, of course. But never mind. You can watch Avatar when you come back. In 2D. Because the 3D version won't be out until months after the World Cup. So you might as well not bother getting a 3D TV till then. And come to think of it, it's probably best not to bother anyway, because Avatar is rubbish. (I couldn't stand that tribe of pious, humourless, surly blue luddites. Fuck their stupid tree. I was cheering on the bulldozers).

There are other adverts of course: Coca-Cola, Nike, Pepsi-Cola, BP, Blackwater Security, The Tyrell Corporation, Damien Thorn Enterprises and so on. All hitting the same phoney note of concord, all somehow cheapening the fun that millions will extract from the tournament itself. Not me, though. I'll be out of the country for the whole thing. When I think of all the adverts I'll miss, I'll try not to sob too loudly.

Courtesy of www.Guardian.co.uk

Is life too short to be polite?

Well no, of course not. But on more than one occasion, to be honest too many to mention, I have been criticised for being rude and/or impolite to people by someone close to me. I take issue with this as I consider myself to be a very polite person. Where I get pulled is when I'm talking to someone I do not like. I can come across as short and abrupt. But aren't short and abrupt just qualities of a personality and in no way a measure of politeness?

Here's the deal. I cannot abide talking to people I do not like. In a professional environment we all have to do it. But when it comes to my own time I choose who I spend my time with for a reason i.e. I like them. I see no benefit whatsoever spending time with people who get your goat. Is it not best for all concerned to just finish off whatever banal and pointless ramblings you're having as soon as possible and move on? On this, I believe life is too short.

I 'rate' my likeness of people on whether or not I would be bothered if they died in a car accident the following day (:-O). If I wouldn't be bothered then why am I talking to them? This sounds like a terrible thing to say, and it is, but lots of us think along these lines. Kinda. When you hear of someone who you know who has just died and yet within 5 minutes of finding out of their untimely death you're back to work without a care in the world isn't it the same? In my eyes they are pretty much the same thing, it just seems to me that mines been thought out. A Demonstration of efficiency?

If someone had the balls to stop me mid-sentence and say 'Look pal, this really isn't as interesting as you think it is, would it be okay if I jump ship and go back to talking to my mates?' I would, without a word of a lie, hold out my hand in respect. In fact the chances are from that moment we'd get on royally with a new found respect and appreciation for the other persons honestly.

So can't we just cut all the pleasantries and be honest? Each year literally millions of Christmas and Birthday cards are sent from people who don't want to send them to people who don't want to receive them. What is this madness?

In the end we are all hypocrites. We are two-faced liars who don't have the guts to be honest. At least I'm trying to be better than that.

Who's impolite now?

Something for the Weekend O_o

I must have watched hundreds of documentaries over the years and just like traditional films there are good ones and there bad ones. Below I've decided to list a few of the ones I thought we're particularly good. It is the nature of the beast of course that some documentaries deal with subjects, and can contain content, that offends. But with these harsh realities often comes truth. The documentary film is still low on the radar of most film audiences, but the popularity of recent films (Food Inc, The Cove, An Inconvenient Truth) illustrates that audiences are willing to watch a film that has a serious agenda.

So here are some of my recommended films with a brief summary:

Taxi to the Darkside

An examination into the torture tactics used by the U.S. army during the war in Afghanistan, focusing on a Taxi-Driver tortured and killed in 2002.

The Smartest Guys in the Room

The story of the collapse of U.S. energy giant Enron. A shocking insight into corruption and political scandal.

Zeitgeist: Addendum &  Zeitgeist: Final Edition

As controversial as they come Peter Joseph's hugely popular Zeitgeist series (the 3rd is due out due later this year) discredits the corrupt institutions that surround us. Religious, Financial and Political.

Loose Change - Various Versions

Love them or loathe them there is no doubting these 9/11 conspiracy films raise many fully quantifiable questions that have yet to be answered. World Trader Centre Building No. 7?

No End in Sight

This highly detailed film takes an in depth look at the Bush Administration during the Iraqi war. Nominated for an Oscar this film examines incompetence at the very highest level.

Jesus Camp

A documentary following children on the trip to summer camp in the U.S, where they are brain washed into fanatical Christian beliefs. A hard hitting film showing that you don't need to go to the middle east to find religious extremists.

Earthlings

Using hidden cameras and never-before-seen footage, Earthlings chronicles the day-to-day practices of the largest industries in the world, all of which rely entirely on animals for profit. At times shocking to watch. You may never wear leather again.

An Inconvenient Truth

A passionate documentary following Al Gore's campaign to stop global warning before it's too late.

Hearts and Minds
This Oscar winning 1974 documentary was very hard to get hold of until a recent region 1 bluray release. This film documents the opposing views of the Vietnam war through the eyes of the Vietnamese and key political figures of the time (in particular Daniel Ellsberg who leaked the Pentagon Papers to the Washington post triggering Watergate). In here lies the truth, which makes this almost unpatriotic film infamous for getting Oscar approval.
                     

If there are some films above that you haven't yet seen then give them a go. Whether you agree with the sometimes biased angles taken in some documentaries you can't deny that even the worst can't be as bad as a film with Keira Knightley in, can it?

No Russian | Short Film

Taking the highly controversial and extremely violent No Russian level from 'Modern Warfare 2' for its inspiration this explosive short film shows off the true processing power of the next-generation gaming consoles. Utilising the actual IW 4.0 game engine and running in real-time this well directed, edited and stylised film further demonstrates the closing gap between the video game and cinema.

Modern Warfare 2 is the most successful video game of all time, as well as one of the most expensive with a development budget of $60 million. As staggering as that may seem, that figure is dwarfed by the marketing budget for its launch, an epic $200 million. With $620 million in sales so far and analysts predicting the game to eventually earn $1 billion, Activision, the games publisher, has made a hefty yet successful investment in Modern Warfare 2.

However, in a step akin to New Line Cinema after the final instalment of the 'Lord of the Rings' films, Activision has now refrained from giving the games developer Infinity Ward their royalties and are being sued by its now sacked founders.

Video games, eh? Its a dirty war.

Zombie Tragedy

I recently had the misfortune of watching George a. Romero's 'Survival of the Dead' and what a painful experience it was. The films, put simply, was terrible with a shocking script, awful acting, lazy direction and well below par special effects (CG, incidentally, has no place in Zombie films). However, as shocking as the film was it wasn't what I was watching that upset me. It was simply that the legend that was George a. Romero, THE creator of the Dead series of films and the Zombie horror as a genuine film genre has clearly lost sight of what once made his films so challenging, thought provoking and original.

History will no doubt show that he should have ended the series after Land of the Dead which, although enjoyable, was beginning a fall from which the Dead films would not rise. Expanding on Day of the Dead's concept of having 'zombies that can learn through repetition' was always going to be difficult to swallow, but then having them actually communicate with each other was simply a step too far. However, all would have been forgiven had that been the only chink in the armour.

Bring forth Dairy of the Dead to not only remove the armour but inflict some serious flesh wounds to boot. Dairy was clearly a film made quickly in order to cash in on the success of Zack 'Watchmen, 300' Snyder's excellent Dawn of the Dead remake, which had undoubtedly brought new life into the genre. The rejuvenation was short lived as Romero released this shocking 'straight to DVD' film. Flags around the Zombie loving community drew to half mast as we crawled back into our homes and sank ourselves into The Walking Dead for respite.

Lessons clearly not learnt the once-was-and-now-isn't-a-horror-legend Romero has released this putrid sack of bile. Watching Survival was hard. It lacks everything that made the Dead films so great and it clearly doesn't have passion behind it. It was the film equivalent of a dying fire. Even the contemporary political under current was weak.

If you, like me, are a fan of the genre and Romero in particular please take my advise and steer well clear. You really don't want to go into that room and confirm the identity of this corpse. Remember Romero for the first three (four at a push) films and be happy for that.

Going Back to its Roots

Whether it be book to screen, screen to book, video game to screen, stage to screen or album to stage transitions between mediums nearly always seem to fall short. The number of failures is seemingly endless whilst the number of actual successes is so short it really does beg the question, at least from a business point of view, is it worth doing in the first place?

History is littered with failures. For every To Kill a Mocking Bird there are hundreds of English Patients.

Tomorrow I'm going to see Glengarry Glen Ross at a local theatre and I'm not sure if I'm looking forward to it or not. I'm sorry, I'll rewind for those not familiar with the play. Glengarry Glen Ross is a play by David Mamet. The story is based around a group of real estate salesmen in Chicago vie for the best "leads" at a small firm selling property in "resort" areas, such as Florida and Arizona. The story is not really too important, what is important is that the play was made into a film in the early 90's and that film, that piece of platinum plated celluloid is my favourite film of all time.

And herein lies the problem or paradox if you will. My favourite film is in fact a transition piece, going successfully from stage to screen. But will it go into reverse? By that I mean can it hold it's own going back to it's roots with smaller actors (the film has Pacino, Spacey, Lemmon, Alda, Baldwin, Pryce) and only the words to hold it up.

I'm not sure. The reviews for the play from friends and the press have been great, but I'm still nervous. One thing in the plays favour, it doesn't have Rebecca Pigeon in it.

A bit more about me...

...and I do mean a bit. Other than the information in my Profile there's a little more of note(ish). Career wise I have spent most of it Designing Games, but also included in my CV is Barman, Account Supervisor at a now defunct book-store (Borders) as well as a bit of driving and insurance sales. It's a cornucopia of employment which has given me some pride and satisfaction but has mainly nurtured my born cynicism of my fellow man.

I'm reasonably well travelled having visited many parts of Europe and Scandinavia (I know it's part of Europe but many forget about it - thankfully) as well as several trips over the Atlantic to the U.S. and Canada. I've also been lucky enough to visit both Nepal and Tibet.

I'm engaged and looking behind the sofa for cash to get married to my long term partner.

My Politics lean to the left and I'm an Atheist in its purest sense.

That's it. Done. My personal box is officially ticked only to be re-opened in emergencies.

Cue The Obligitory Welcome Message

To be honest this blog here is really intended be my virtual diary (of sorts) and soap box. Not designed nor intended per se for public consumption. However, being that it is on-line, called a blog and isn't really that personel I can't stop others from reading it and, and you'd really have to ask yourself why, comment on it. So from the kick-off I may well just assume others are here. Therefore, seeing that you are here, I'll try (granted not very hard) to make it read legibly and attempt , on the most part, to be nice.

As it's THE first post I'd best write something that'll going down in infamy as the most single most useless piece of nonsense that has ever been virtually written since the invention of the internet.  Something so completely inane that it'll be forgotten within a guaranteed time frame or your money back. Here goes:

"Welcome to this new Blog, I hope you spend more time here than you did the last time you went to the toilet, or a least reviewing this mornings post.

I shall be, for want of a better word, 'vomiting' my random thoughts from my over analytical mind into (and all over) this Blog. It will also contain such sporadic highlights as short stories, all kinds of media reviews and will be debating issues of a contemporary nature... and stuff. It is required to be completely inconsistent, lazy, self deprecating and hopefully, every now and then, witty and, to a far lesser extent, informative... just like me :-)

Welcome."